I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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