Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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