I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize