I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up under a house in Key West
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