As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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