so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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