last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize