I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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