so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize