peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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