Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
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