She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize