cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Let's get the cat blown out
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize