Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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