Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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