She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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