I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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