i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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