just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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