that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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