There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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