I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize