Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have fence marks all over my body
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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