I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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