She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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