I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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