i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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