Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

(917): View more from New York City

Thats what she said

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(516): gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long (917): Thats what she said http://tfl.nu/ke6j

Replies (13) Good night (1810) Bad night (561)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

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(931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d

Replies (5) Good night (2004) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.

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(307): I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist. http://tfl.nu/unvw

Replies (12) Good night (931) Bad night (1393) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...

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(757): sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying... http://tfl.nu/9slh

Replies (46) Good night (8633) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.

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(225): He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that. http://tfl.nu/0p85

Replies (28) Good night (1216) Bad night (4648) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.

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(513): I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life. http://tfl.nu/fi4n

Replies (6) Good night (4258) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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(229): View more from Georgia

They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME

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(229): They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME http://tfl.nu/jm4f

Replies (5) Good night (1122) Bad night (2073) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad

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(803): My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad http://tfl.nu/1ob8

Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...

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(573): I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad... http://tfl.nu/bjgv

Replies (15) Good night (593) Bad night (1972) Order T-Shirt
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(319): View more from Iowa

dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?

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(319): dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone? http://tfl.nu/6czx

Replies (6) Good night (1157) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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(848): View more from New Jersey

Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.

(732): View more from New Jersey

You live a charmed life.

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(848): Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left. (732): You live a charmed life. http://tfl.nu/9usd

Replies (8) Good night (2003) Bad night (466)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, they all thought you were gay.

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(412): Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls (724): Dude, they all thought you were gay. http://tfl.nu/k7ip

Replies (7) Good night (1049) Bad night (366)
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(805): View more from California

The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.

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(805): The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it. http://tfl.nu/fb1m

Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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(605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd

Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt
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(561): View more from Florida

Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.

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(561): Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring. http://tfl.nu/lpoq

Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt

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