you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize