I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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