You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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