I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
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I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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