so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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