matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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