Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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