trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize