please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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