So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize