it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
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I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
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I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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