you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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