No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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