remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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