just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize