took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize