Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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