so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize