the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize