The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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