I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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