College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize